i forgot how much i like doing things. any things. just leaving the house, really. we saw eugene von bruenchenhein and a little henry darger at the folk art museum and went to chelsea piers and the high line. and we ate delicious hot dogs and took photos on conor's phone for our hot dog blog. but i can't stop thinking about what i'm doing and where my life is going and what the fuck am i going to do? but its okay if i'm doing something, i think. any thing.
and yesterday i made a lot of bread with my two hands and, on the phone, i think i made my father cry. but i was just telling the truth. i was just talking about my life and everything. and i almost cried too, but i'm always crying about this or that or everything. and today conor made pasta with his two hands and i wore a floral skirt and made floral patterns with my computer. eugen von bruenchenhein got to make patterns with his hands, but its a different world now. and i realize now that it isn't how much i learn, because i can never learn enough. and i'll always be the same, because everyone is always the same. and even if they're not everyone will pretend they are anyway.
so that is all.
that is everything. so far.
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