5.31.2011

can't you see/ i'm on a losing streak

i don't find computer sketching the least bit satisfying, but i can't seem to find the motivation or inspiration to draw, draw for real--like with pencil and paper. i just want to build something with wood and nails and possibly paint. and what i really want is to build a space big enough for me sit inside, to crawl into and be alone for a little while. sometimes i find comfort in the idea of being alone just to think things through. but i won't. because i only start things and never finish them. or i finish it and then just find something else to do. and i don't know what to do to make me stop thinking that everything is a waste of time.

but this way i won't be disappointed, right? see? i'm being optimistic.

things i will start soon and not finish:
learning to play guitar, organizing my room, writing something or other, and probably a handful more patterns that will stop looking like i want them to halfway through.

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