i watch a lot of movies about unconventional lifestyles. i don't know why.
actually i do know why, but its not something worth explaining.
and i keep having dreams. its a new ritual. i wake up in the morning and i don't want to get out of bed. so i lay there and go back to sleep. (what else is there?) and every morning i go back to sleep have a dream and wake up. and i always hated having dreams, because all i remember are the nightmares where i wake up crying. and i guess my subconscious is pretty fucked up or whatever.
but anyway, these aren't nightmares, they're just really odd dreams that don't make any sense.
and also i'm reading this book, this famous book. and about two years ago i told conor what i'd want my gravestone to say. he laughed at me but i made him promise to remember it. and so in this book the author makes an epitaph that says "everything was beautiful and nothing hurt", which is much more poetic than mine. but then again mine is true, so i guess it evens out. but then again hes rich and famous and everyone loves and respects this guy. so i guess it doesn't really even out in the end. who wants honesty, right?
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